2005-03-11

I pride myself in being a feminist. No I am not one those females that goes to rallies, and lives every moment to gripe about the inequalities between men and women. However I do believe in the equality of both sexes. I do think that women should be assertive and be able to hold their own without being criticize, and that men can be homemakers without having their sexuality questioned. Yet I do have a problem with one aspect of females. Stay at Home moms. Not with the scenario its self. I do think it's great for a mother to be able to bond with their child, and be the primary caregiver. In some ways I envy stay at home moms. I have toyed with the idea of staying at home, financially it is not realistic. Anyway I digress. What I do have a problem with is the mentality of some stay at home moms. I frequent some mom boards, and I have observed the different attitudes SAHMs have. There are some that are great, and are able to balance all aspects of their lives as best as they can. Then there are the moms that seem to me do nothing but complain. They say they want to be with their child every minute of their life, yet complain when they don't get a break. The say they stay at home because they want the best for their child, yet they have had frequent notices about having their electricity being disconnected. Then there is the sharing of the household chores. Their spouses work 8-12 hour shifts, and when they come home they are expected to do chores. I do agree that sharing should be required to an extent. However do not bitch about your husband/boyfriend not doing laundry, washing dishes etc after working all day. I agree staying at home with your child all day is a full time job, and I totally admire you for doing it. However if your spouse/boyfriend wasn't working, and bringing in money, then you wouldn't be able to stay at home. You would most likely be out on the streets, living with some relative, or being a drain on the system. I know it may sound like I am bashing SAHMs, or that I am suffering from "sour grapes". That is not what is happening. I totally admire moms who are able to stay home, and being a full time mom is a full time job. The same goes for stay at home dads. I work with a male teacher who stays home when his kids are sick since his wife is the "bread winner." He enjoys doing so. What I am saying is that when staying at home you need to be realistic about things. I realize that my thoughts may totally go against my feminist identity. However as a woman I do think you need to be objective to how things are.
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